PACE

The PACE (Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity & Empathy) model is used within the home as a day-to-day way of working with residents.

Playfulness

’When children laugh and giggle, they become less defensive and more reflective. Playfulness can help keep it all in perspective… It can also diffuse a difficult or tense situation when the parent has a touch of playfulness in his or her discipline.’

Acceptance

Unconditionally accepting a child makes them feel secure, safe and loved. ‘Actively communicating to the child that you accept the wishes, feelings, thoughts, urges, motives and perceptions that are underneath the outward behaviour. It is about accepting, without judgement or evaluation, their inner life. The child’s inner life simply is it is not right or wrong. The parent may be very firm in limiting behaviour while at the same time accepting the motives for the behaviour.’

Curiosity

Without judgement children become aware of their inner life. ‘Curiosity involves a quiet, accepting tone that conveys a simple desire to understand the child: “What do you think was going on? What do you think that was about?”

Empathy

A sense of compassion for the child and her feelings. The adult will stay with the child emotionally, providing comfort and support… The adult is also communicating strength, love, and commitment, with confidence that sharing the child’s distress will not be too much. Together they will get through it.’

PACE can be used by any adult to validate, explore, and understand children’s feelings. It is an approach which limits shame, promotes compassion, and brings a sense of mutual support, strength, and resilience.

When an adult spends time and demonstrates an interest in a child’s inner life the adult contains and regulates the child’s emotions, eventually the child will learn to do this themselves. Staff work in line with the PACE model by adapting their communication and interaction styles when working with children and young people to ensure that they feel listened to and accepted.

The PACE model also supports children and young people to be able to in time work towards self-regulating their own emotions and the way in which they respond to others.